Escape

Come Together Against Sexualized Violence

We all have a part to play in ending sexualized and gender-based violence, and that starts with having healthy, safe, and equitable relationships in our day-to-day lives.

While this page is geared towards men and masculine students, we can all benefit from these resources.

Here we have assembled a collection of links to pieces covering consent, masculinity, and sexuality. In general, the items are ordered, within their categories, from the more interesting and impactful to the more 101 and introductory. Please feel free to share this page with the following link: bit.ly/hmconsentlinks


Articles


Everything you need to know about consent that you never learned in sex ed

This medium-length piece goes over enthusiastic consent: how to give it, how to get it, and what it can look like. It breaks the different approaches into bite-sized pieces and looks at the topic from many different angles. 

How men  are trained to think sexual assault is no big deal

Explores how cultural messages which facilitate sexual assault are transmitted, and the specific attitudes which result, drawing from famous pieces of media and personal reflections. These cultural ideas include:

  1. Forcing yourself on women makes them love you
  2. Asking permission is a sign of weakness
  3. Women like to be pursued, and thus always play “hard to get”
  4. Everything women do is designed to provoke male hunger
  5. Sexual assault = guy in alley with knife
  6. All sex outside of (heterosexual) marriage is wrong
  7. Boys will be boys

Millennial Men on How Their Dads Taught them Consent

Five guys talk about the consent culture they were raised with. This covers the range from hands-on fathering to total denial. Contains mentions of rape and sexual assault. 

Driver’s Ed for the Sexual Superhighway: Navigating Consent

Longer-form text on navigating consent, what consent and non-consent might look or sound like, and what consent can look like in a longer-term relationship. Longer, detailed, not the best graphic design, but really thorough and accessible. 


Videos


Sexplanations – What is Consent?

Dr. Doe talks about consent as a fundamental part of sex, dives into its meaning, and discusses some of the cultural scripts that surround it. Note: contains some nudity.

Consent – It’s as Simple as Tea

Consent explained through the metaphor of tea. Widely-used, simple, clear, and entertaining.

NYU – Let’s Talk About Consent

Talking head-style educational video about consent. Doesn’t use metaphors, so it’s extra clear. Discusses autonomy, pleasure, knowing how to get consent, and how sexy it all can be. Well-produced, fast, impactful.

How to Ask for Consent – Paging Dr. Nerdlove

Longer form (10 min) video on how to ask for consent. Discusses some of the culture around consent, active “yes”, and practical skills around non-awkward consent (with examples!)

Cycling Through Consent

Similar to “tea and consent” video – concept of sexual consent explained through the metaphor of going for a bike ride. Simple, clear, and well-produced.

Charlie McDonald – Sex & Consent

Casual conversation about sex, pressure, and consent. Short, sweet, and personal.

How do you know if someone wants to have sex with you? – Planned Parenthood

Clear, concise, professional video about navigating consent. This video breaks it down with steps and examples. Kinda 101 and hammy, but ultimately very clear. At the end, it links to other videos for if your partner is very into it, kinda into it, or not into it. 


Do you know of a resource that should be added? Contact the Healthier Masculinities Volunteer Coordinator at sascmasculinities@ams.ubc.ca